I don't know but the fact that you are reading this may well be because your marriage is tough right now. I am sorry. Tough times in marriage are not fun and usually painful. Extremely painful, and confusing. No one got married so that they could have tough times with their spouse. When you think about it, fear of the tough times probably keep a lot of people from getting married. I actually think that deep down some people think that if they live together like married people and don't get married they can somehow avoid the tough times or at least lesson the impact. But then marriage is the uniting of two very different hearts into oneness. That, if nothing else, sounds a little like the smashing together of Gumby and Pokey into a single ball of mass then pressing it into a new image all together. Of course, "He was once a little green slab of clay" and being pressed into a new image is not nearly as hard as it is for us to be put through the process by the potter of men.
The potter of men. There lies the answer to the tough times. There is one who is greater than you and greater than I that has power over our frail faculties. Yes, it is true, He may not come when you want Him. Ask Mary and Martha about the death of their brother. They were probably mad that Jesus did not show up when their brother Lazarus was sick, even though they sent for Him. And if not mad at least confused as to why their friend, whom they had seen heal sick strangers, did not come and heal Lazarus whom He loved. No, He may not come when you want Him, but in His omnipresent way, He is always there and always right on time. Yes, the potter of men is where our hope lies.
I read somewhere that between 40% and 50% of all first time marriages in the United States end in divorce. (The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is higher.) Of course that means that 50% to 60% of all first time marriages in the United States end in death. It sounds funny but the goal is to stay married and happy until one of you dies. What do you do when married and unhappy hits?
Be broken and bow low before your God. Talk to Him, a lot. Listen to Him, a lot. He has not forgotten you and He is not ignoring you. Get to know what your Father is doing and submit to the process. Remember that though you feel 100% of the pain this is not about you. The potter will use His power to sustain you for His glory.
This is about a love story. Every line on every page is to lead us into a deeper love for the potter. I am sorry it is so hard and painful. Keep your eyes on the potter and let patience have it's perfect work, making you perfect and complete. Are all marriages tough? I don't know but I know that sometimes some marriages are tough. I wish I could tell you, "Focus on yourself," or "Focus on your spouse," but all I can say is dive deep into God in every way you know how and let Him tell you where to focus.