How do I teach my children the responsibilities of life without taking away the fun of childhood?

How Do I Teach My Children the Responsibilities of Life Without Taking Away the Fun of Childhood?

Great question—because we want to teach our children to be disciplined, self-controlled, and alert, as the Bible says. But at the same time, we truly don’t want to snuff out the joy of living.

This is also a question that parents need to apply to themselves: How do we, as adults, keep the joy of living in the Lord while abiding by His law? We tend to think it has to be one or the other. But I believe that when we live a disciplined life according to the Word of God, we actually find freedom—and with that comes an abundance of joy and peace.

I accomplished this by providing discipline and order in the home. This takes away the guessing game. Children know what is required of them. Structure shifts the weight of responsibility off their small shoulders and places it on me. They are free within the boundaries of that structure, and they know exactly what to do. They don’t have to figure it out moment by moment.

So from early on, I taught them what to do and how to do it. When they woke up, I taught them to first go to the bathroom, brush their teeth, get dressed, and do devotions. I taught them how to do devotions. I taught them how to get dressed. I taught them how to brush their teeth and comb their hair. I taught them all the disciplines of daily living. That created a peaceful, calm, and quiet environment.

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“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace

for those who have been trained by it.”

— Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

🌟 Even when it’s hard, faithful training brings long-term fruit—righteousness, peace, and joy.

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Within this structure, they were free to be themselves. They didn’t have to figure out what to do or how to do it—the burden of that responsibility was on me. The “walls” of structure gave them clarity about expectations so they could succeed, and I provided consistent monitoring. I didn’t have to get frustrated with them for not doing what they were supposed to do, because we had already established clear routines.

The other key ingredient is the culture you establish in your home. Is your home a place where too much is happening without clear direction or instruction? That kind of atmosphere leads to chaos, frustration, and irritability—in both mom and children. Having a structured day and schedule reduces frustration and increases peace. Happier children and completed tasks also make for a happier mommy.

Let’s summarize so far:

Don’t rely on constantly telling your children what to do. Instead, train them to do the same things in the same ways each day. That’s discipline, order, and structure. Then monitor them to build consistency.

As you train your children, remember that repetition is essential. Repetition brings mastery. It’s often said that “practice makes perfect.” A wise woman once told me, “Perfect practice makes perfect.” This recipe breeds freedom and joy, and removes pressure and frustration.

The last necessary ingredient I’ll share here is daily time to sit and simply be with your children, talking and sharing. This cannot be multitasking time. You can’t consider it “quality time” if you’re doing it while cooking or driving. It must be time where you truly hear their hearts. What you do during this time is less important than your presence.

When my children were younger, starting the day this way gave them a sense of security, belonging, and focus. And that made for a peaceful home.

“Train up a child in the way he should go;

even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

— Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

✨ A timeless truth that reminds us structure, discipline, and love in the early years lay the foundation for a lifetime of peace.